Simon Wood

Simon Wood's Blog

My writing life is very much like a duck on a pond.  It looks as if all is smooth and calm as the duck guides along the water.  However, what the observer can’t see is all the thrashing going on below the surface.  That’s how I approach my career as a writer. To my audience, everything is calm and collected because I work hard to keep control of all the chaos that goes on behind the scenes.  Today, I’m going to clue you in on some of weirdness that I’ve hidden from you all.

Recently, I was asked about odd incidents that have occurred during my writing career. Let me say there’ve been a lot. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been recounting some of my weirder experiences on social media for discussion and I thought I would share some with you.

  • Said to me at a book signing: “You have amazing skin for your age. How old are you again?”
  • I was held at knife point by an attendee at a private book signing.
  • A reader gave me cheese-flavored cat food as a gift at a book signing.
  • Said to me by an attendee just before I was going to make a speech: “My son wrote very well in high school and he would have been on the New York Times bestsellers list if he pursued it so I just want to let you know you’re nothing special.”
  • I have made several interviewers cry during an interview.
  • I was put on a bookstore blacklist.
  • The most commonly asked question at my book signings: “Where are the restrooms?”
  • A translator threatened to rewrite the book’s ending if I didn’t because they found it offensive. I didn’t.
  • Once, event security blocked me from entering my own event not believing I could be an author.
  • Said to me at a book signing: “I’m going to return it after I’ve read it. I haven’t paid for a book in years.”
  • Early on in my career, I had a stalker. It went on for about a year.
  • The first time I saw my book in a store, I stalked the person who picked up a copy to see if they bought it.
  • My nonfiction has been plagiarized…a lot!
  • I was booked to speak to a large group of writers when I got there, it was three writers in a storage room.

I hope you’ve liked these glimpses into my crazy writing world.  If you’d like to hear more, let me know.

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Life has taken me offline for the foreseeable future. Last weekend, a truck and horse trailer crashed into me while riding my bike. My bike was totaled (and is in pieces) and I have a separated shoulder. Luckily, I landed in a dirt drainage ditch which minimized the injuries. I’m all braced up to keep my arm immobile. I have set up for voice to text so I won’t be entirely unable to work.

Anyway, here’s to a speedy recovery.

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It’s that time of year, so if you’re looking to give a book for Christmas and you’re going to make it one of mine, bless your heart. If you want to get a book autographed or personalized to that special someone (even if that special someone is you) go to my bookshop. Used the code HOLIDAY10 to get a 10% discount.

Alternatively, I can mail out a bookplate or sign ebooks via Just email me with your requests and I’ll do my best to make it happen. All the details are on the bookshop.

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I like to challenge myself to do something I’ve never done before. As an avid cyclist, I decided to see if I could build a bike from scratch. It took a while to pull all the pieces together after finding a suitable bike frame to use as a starting point. I had to improvise in a few places due to trying to upgrade an older bike with modern-ish componentry. I also did a lot of web surfing to find components during the pandemic. I also had to learn a few new skills…which included and we not limited to paint spraying. I gave the bike a custom paint job. The color is “peacock” because it’s a color-shift paint job and changes from blue to green to purple depending on the light.

All in all, it came out pretty well and bike while no superbike rides amazingly well. Anyway, here are some pix from my starting point to finished product. I hope you like the results because I do. 🙂

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I’m having a Spring Book Sale.  If you’re looking for an autographed book for yourself or as a gift, I have you covered.  Use code SPRING10 and you’ll get 10% off your order.  Just go to and if there’s an out-of-print title/hardback or any audiobook you’re looking for, drop me a note, as I may have one hidden away.  For the more adventurous among you, you might be interested in one of my famous Mystery Book Boxes.  Whatever you want, just let me know.

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This one is for the writers amongst you. Over the last few years, I’ve developed a number of online writing courses for Sisters In Crime. The workshops haven’t been available outside of their membership until now. I’m planning on having a different writing workshop every month, but I’m kicking off this first phase with five classes. Here’s what’s on the docket for the first half of 2021:

The start dates for the classes are as follows (just click the links for course details):

The nitty gritty:
The format of classes is a mix of videos and handouts as part of an online classroom.
The classes run for two weeks with 6 to 7 lessons in each workshop, except for the plotting workshop, which is three weeks.
With every lesson, there’s an assignment and feedback. You aren’t obliged to do the homework or send it to me for feedback. It’s entirely up to you.
The class is conducted via People are expected to join in and comment on everybody’s work.
Lessons will be posted every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. That is subject to change. If people need more time then I will slow the lessons down.

Workshop cost: $50 each (exception for the Plot Thickeners – that’s $65)

If you’d like to sign up, just go to my WORKSHOP page.

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It’s with a heavy heart that I have to report the movie adaptation of THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY is over. The film company that had been developing it for the last few years pulled the plug last month. The uncertainty COVID-19 has had on the entertainment industry meant it wasn’t financially viable for them to continue under the current circumstances.  It’s a shame as they’d developed a working script after several screenwriters.

I’m disappointed but not surprised. The producer has said she hopes to return to it when the industry turns itself around. Hopefully, someone else will step into the fray.

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