I’ve been in the US eighteen years and I haven’t been back to the UK in over nine, so it’s not surprising things have changed in that time, so here’s a few things that made me a tourist in my own country.
- Sidewalks aren’t for walking on…they’re for parking.
- English accents really stick out. It’s really weird on my ear now.
- I am no longer a bilingual driver. I have to think about driving on the left.
- I look the wrong way when I cross the road. It took me a decade to look the right when I crossed the road in America but now I am at a loss in the UK.
- Somehow all the roads have shrunk and I can’t believe the speeds I use to drive on them.
- I forgot how heavy pounds coins are. Most British men sound like gunslingers when they walk and they all walk with a limp trying to lug a leg with a pocket full of shrapnel…
- Straws go in children’s drinks, not adults.
- A 3-pin plug scarily too big for its purpose.
- I forgot how cold it is in April.
- Pedestrians don’t have the right of way. You will be run down!
- Weather changes and often. Only British people need both sunglasses and an umbrella on the same day.
- I didn’t realize how high toilets are compared to the US. I need a footstool.
- Power outlets have switches. I kept plugging things in and forgetting to flip the switch. And a 3-pin plug seems scarily large.
- My God, Britain is crowded. America seems deserted in comparison.
- Drinks don’t come with straws. As one friend said, “I feel like a seven year old when I have a straw in my drink.”
- I forgot there are no free drink refills.
