I try to be a good person. I swear I do, but from time to time, I get a little impish. These teeny-tiny horns pop up and I can’t help being a little mischievous. Small, devious ideas and concepts come to me—even if they’re just for my mental amusement. Here’s just a few of them:
1. Buy a happy meal when you’re feeling sad.
2. Leave a treasure map in your will.
3. Reserve a table for ten at a restaurant but eat alone and if someone from the restaurant complains, tell the person your other personalities have to eat too.
4. If you’re stopped by a cop or an authority figure and they give you static, then quote the sage Katy Perry, “‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar” — then roar.
5. File a change of address for someone…without their knowledge.
6. Report a bad driver to your state’s smog line.
7. Buy a kid’s meal on someone’s 18th birthday.
8. Sit in someone’s chair when they leave the room so that the temperature is a little off when they return.
9. Leave a small bottle of lotion in your carry-on to make a TSA agent say “Put the lotion in the bucket.”
10. Pick up the in-flight magazine and flick to the Sudoku page, pause for a second, write the first numbers that spring to mind then turn to your fellow passenger and say, “That was a tough one.”
I won’t say how many of these I’m guilty of. I’ll leave that to your imagination.
And I DON’T suggest you try any of these yourself and I take no responsibility for YOUR actions. However, I would like to hear some of your impish ideas… J