Simon Wood

HUMP DAY: Things To Do When You’re Feeling Impish

I try to be a good person.  I swear I do, but from time to time, I get a little impish.  These teeny-tiny horns pop up and I can’t help being a little mischievous.  Small, devious ideas and concepts come to me—even if they’re just for my mental amusement.  Here’s just a few of them:
1.      Buy a happy meal when you’re feeling sad.
2.      Leave a treasure map in your will.
3.      Reserve a table for ten at a restaurant but eat alone and if someone from the restaurant complains, tell the person your other personalities have to eat too.
4.      If you’re stopped by a cop or an authority figure and they give you static, then quote the sage Katy Perry, “‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar” — then roar.
5.      File a change of address for someone…without their knowledge.
6.      Report a bad driver to your state’s smog line.
7.      Buy a kid’s meal on someone’s 18th birthday.
8.      Sit in someone’s chair when they leave the room so that the temperature is a little off when they return.
9.      Leave a small bottle of lotion in your carry-on to make a TSA agent say “Put the lotion in the bucket.”
10.    Pick up the in-flight magazine and flick to the Sudoku page, pause for a second, write the first numbers that spring to mind then turn to your fellow passenger and say, “That was a tough one.”
I won’t say how many of these I’m guilty of.  I’ll leave that to your imagination.
And I DON’T suggest you try any of these yourself and I take no responsibility for YOUR actions.  However, I would like to hear some of your impish ideas…   J

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