Simon Wood

SHELF LIFE: Gone Fishin’


Ah, the air smells fresher. Colors are more vibrant. Everything is good with the world and I am happy. The reason for my good spirits is that I completed my next book, DECEPTIVE PRACTICES .

It’s been quite a job writing a new book while trying to manage my non writing life over the last year.

But all that’s over and I don’t care. I like completing a book, because I can be me again. As the deadline looms, I start to discard extraneous life items like weight from a sinking balloon. Such things as regular meals, entertainment, exercise, and tidying up after myself have gone by the wayside.  Nothing else matters except for finishing the book. 

Now that it’s in the bag, I can see what’s been going on in the world. I can read for pleasure, see a movie, ride my bikes—and Julie says tidy my damn room. She has a point there. This week it’s my intention to clear up the house and weed the garden. I’m particularly happy to be able to draw a line under this book. As stressful as all this is, I’m not complaining.  This is what I want to do with my life and I signed on knowing this would be tough.

I’m taking it easy today and I feel weird not writing anything. Guilty even. It’s not right that there isn’t a keyboard attached to my fingertips. I’m in a vacuum—and I don’t like it. But as luck would have it, I have four different publishers waiting on things from me so I need to get cracking as I have set myself a heady schedule for the rest of the year.  

I’m a little worried about Julie though. She said, “I don’t have anything to read. What am I going to do?”  She’s always jonesing for a story. By the end of the week, she’ll be pressing herself up against me and saying, “Got any pages for me, baby? Mamma needs some eye candy.” 

“But I don’t have anything,” I’ll say. 

“Don’t be like that,” she’ll reply. “Julie knows you’ve got something tucked away. Just a few pages will get me through. A synopsis will do. I know you have a short story tucked away somewhere. You’ve always got a short story. Give it up, baby. Julie will make it worth your while.” 

I think Julie has a problem…

So if you’re reading this, I’m not here. I’ve gone fishin’. I could do with the exercise.

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