Simon Wood

SHELF LIFE: Uxbridge English Dictionary II–The Revenge

It’s time for some more homophones! If you don’t now what homophone is, it’s a word that is pronounced the same way as another word with a different meaning, such carat and carrot. What I’m doing isn’t quite like that but similar. It’s inspired by the long running, comedy radio show I’M SORRY I HAVEN’T A CLUE and its UXBRIDGE ENGLISH DICTIONARY. A few months ago I listed a bunch of new and improved definitions to existing words (you can find them here) and I’m back with a new crop of meanings and punnery. Enjoy!

Wherewithal – A very versatile item of clothing.

Urology – The study of female sheep.

Antidote – To detest someone.

Cloves – What cockneys wear.

Boulangerie – Bread based sexy French underwear and night attire.

Stagflation – An inflatable deer.

Maltese – A flirtatious shopping center.

Dreadnought – Someone with a zero phobia.

Discern (1) – To slag off the Large Hadron Collider.

Discern (2) – To no longer receive a salary.

Mutilation – A silent state of great joy or pride.

Undercurrent – A raisin capable of stepping in for another at short notice.

Pleasantry – A good looking tree.

Epilogue – Fitful lumber.

Aspic – Something you do when you have an itchy bottom.

Vanish – Rather like a van.

Palish – Kind of like a friend.

Lavish – Kind of like a toilet.

Gloat – A phosphorescent yacht.

Questionnaire – Someone who contests a will.

‘Imposing – A male model.

Collage – Art school.

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