I’m saying goodbye to some close friends this week. Namely some favorite tee-shirts and things (and when I say things, I mean under garments). The test of time has claimed the lives of some of my favorite clothes. Slight frays have become holes, tears and rips. There’s even been “collar separation” in some cases. In Julie’s words, “God, you can’t keep wearing that.” And she was right. So, I’ve been sorting through some of my clothes and consigning them to the trashcan.
But before you think I’m a little weird I should mention that when some of these “aged garments” are little past their prime, they do get reclassified as “gym only.”
So how old are these clothes? I hear you cry.
All of have celebrated a decade in age, while some of my old tees are more than fifteen years old. Yes, astounding I know. Hey! What do you mean shocking? That’s a little rude, my faithful reader.
Look, the thing about me is that I can’t things go if I really like them. It’s why there are so many restraining orders against me. Instead of shame, I see these restraining orders as merely an endorsement of my affection for something, but I digress. The point is when I find an item of clothing that I enjoy wearing; I will keep on wearing it.
But for fifteen years? C’mon, Simon. What kind of condition are these things in?
Not bad, actually. I treat my possessions with respect and I’m a gentle person (and lover—that’s an FYI for the ladies). And it’s not just clothes, but with everything. I don’t own a book with a cracked spine or a CD with a broken jewel case. My car and bikes are treated with respect to reduce wear and tear. So my things look good until the day comes to retire them.
I suppose this is why Julie frustrates me so much. She has a bull in a china shop approach to her stuff and they look like they’ve suffered trench warfare after she’s finished with them. She’s a brute, ladies and gents. It’s why we don’t have children. We’d be forever gluing arms and legs back on.
Now, I know I may have lost your trust and respect among some of you, but if an item of clothing feels good, don’t you keep on wearing it? Yeah, you know I’m right. It’s just that I know how to make it go the extra mile. There’s nothing wrong in that, is there?
Well, I’m off down to the mall to do a little shopping, but while I’m away, dish the dirt on your wardrobe. What’s your favorite piece and how old is it?