Simon Wood

HUMP DAY: Americana

As I mentioned on Monday, I am celebrating fifteen years in the US. Wow, hasn’t time just flown by? Fifteen years and immigration asked me to leave after two. I can be slippery. It always pays to move around. 🙂

Anyhoo, I’ve learned a lot about American culture during that time. It is very different from living in England. More than water and language separates our fair nations. I sort of feel like Captain Kirk seeking out new life forms and new civilizations, so here are a few things I’ve learned in my time in the US:

1. American TV doesn’t have reruns, it has “encore presentations.”

2. America is very security conscious, yet everyone’s mail is protected by a tin box on a wooden pole.

3. California weathermen really do have the most pointless job anywhere.

4. Americans keep their cats on the inside and the Christmas lights on the outside.

5. Disneyland is the happiest place on earth and the DMV is anything but.

6. Why walk when you can drive.

7. Menus come with pictures.  

8. Cheese isn’t a dairy product.  It’s a way of life.

9. The Super Bowl is a World Title game that no other country is invited to compete in.

10. And finally, the metric system is to be feared and despised.

I would like to thank all the people who’ve invited this funny sounding foreign exchange guy into their lives, asked him to repeat what he’s just said because that accent takes a little getting used to and made him very welcome in a place he likes to call his primary domicile. So here’s to the first fifteen years and to the next. Thanks America.


4 Responses to “HUMP DAY: Americana”

  1. pantomime

    I remember one Christmas visiting my family, my wicked nephew got one of the younger kids to ask me what us Brits used to correct writing mistakes. I said of course, “a rubber”, hysterics all around, a fortnight stumped them, when I told them we had a flat in Spain, they thought our car had broken down, and so it continued, but it was a fun time.


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